Attending the 2009 Presidential Inauguration

“You run an Ivy League mortician in the name of electability?”

G.W. Bush vs Kerry
Voted: Kerry
My Conscience: Nader
My Conscience in the Democratic Primary: Howard Dean

Impressions Heading into Election Day
G.W. Bush: He had now proved that absolutely ANYBODY can be president. Bush’s accession to presidency likely inspired Gary Coleman to launch his 2003 bid for the California governorship.
Kerry: Reminds me of an Ivy League mortician

G.W. Bush: 50.73% with 286 electoral
Kerry: 48.27% with 251 electoral

Looking Back: OK Democrats, you run an Ivy League mortician in the name of electability? If Nader’s support from 2000 dropped 3% this time around, it sure didn’t go to Kerry. 

Election Map: Kerry manages to do a little less than what Gore did, and he gave up a lot faster. At least Dean would have gone out interestingly with some kind of yodel or kung fu kick.

“Please don’t blame Ralph Nader.”

Gore vs G.W. Bush vs Nader
Voted: Gore
My Conscience: Nader
My Conscience in the Democratic Primary: Bill Bradley

Impressions Heading into Election Day
Gore: Could a person run a safer but weirder campaign? (question answered in 4 years by John Kerry)
G.W. Bush: Jesus Christ! How, why, what, etc., and more and more etc., etc. I mentioned psychology earlier in reference to Nixon and Reagan, but wow!!!!!! There’s always some fool around to keep Freud relevant.
Nader: Loved how this muther wouldn’t bend or bend over for you or anyone else. He was an unforgiving remedy cut in stone—post Slick Willie.

Gore: 48.38% with 266 electoral
G.W. Bush: 47.87% with 271 electoral
Ralph Nader: 3% with 0 electoral

Looking Back: This electoral tragedy (marked by the unexplainable freezing of the Florida recount) initiated a spiraling series of global tragedies that have culminated into America’s current condition. But please don’t blame Ralph Nader. Typically when people vote for a candidate, they don’t care if any of the others lose.

But the spectacle of this election and recount is not nearly as amazing to me as the simple fact that George W. Bush could ever procure more than 3% of American’s votes (what Nader got). Put these two guys (Ralph and George) in a room together and listen to them talk, then tell me afterwards that you were impressed by and want to vote for Bush. I mean, common.

Also, Buchanan ran Perot’s Reform Party into the ground, but not before professional wrestler “Jesse the Body” serves an actual Reform Party term as Governor of Minnesota.

Election Map: Democrats experienced a “global warming” in the previous Clinton victory map. It looked the same in the North and West, but it melted in the South, including in Gore’s home state of Tennessee.